Half-baked-ness

What is it about learning new languages that drives me into a 'state of delirium' I do not know, but I go bonkers!

So you can imagine what happened when I first moved into Bangalore a few months back... Aware of the key phrase (from my previous and brief trip) - "Kannada gotila" translating to mean "I don't know/understand Kannada," I am thrilled with myself. I move around the city, trying to get autos, making innumerable phone calls, every time waiting for the respondent to complete a statement or two rumbled in great celerity before I interrupt to say "Kannada gotila" Mission accomplished, or so I think. I get a response... (see picture)

What is it? Am I saying anything wrong, I scratch my head and begin to wonder. I try again, "Kannada gotila". "Gobbledygook", he responds. And give up. I resort to English, preferred over Hindi. Slightly better.

One such trip, I'm off to somewhere in these famous auto rickshaws, and with my slight of the area I have gathered over the last week or so, guide the driver to the "right", "Right- taaaa?" I am asked. "Yes, right-taaaaa" And then, "left-taaa" and moving "straight-taaa" gets me to my destination.

C'est voila! Not bad at all. How hard can it be? I try again, successfully. I also add "aaaa" in an improvised accent to everything - "bus-aaa", "office-aaa". (Only months later, I am corrected by a Kannada speaking colleague. "Aaa" is to question. Right-aaa? - to the right? And that I must respond in "oooo"s - "Yes, right-ooo", but that's again another thing)

And my luck gets me around. Simple, right? Wrong. Just as I am getting into a comfort zone, and on one of my (endless) auto rides, I am told tersely "I speak only Kannada. No English. No Hindi." (in English). Just like the French and German, I believe, speak only French and German. (even if they know English) "Come on... solpa (little) Kannada, solpa English," I bargain. "No." "Kannada gotila, Sir". I beg, now exasperated. But, nothing would make him relent from his resolve. I let him take the circuitous route and in the meanwhile try and decipher from unfreindly signboards where I am before I reach where I should've an hour ago.

Why, I think, is it hard for these guys to understand that I do not understand/speak Kannada. Something struck me. I said a word in the language... Doesn't matter that I said I don't know it. It's the language, and on being half-baked. (With half a dozen words I've picked up by now, over the next few weeks) That I say anything in the understood language gives the licence for the respondent to believe I actually know Kannada!

Oh, no no. You can't be thinking I am from here. I mean do I look it? No, ok you can't guess. Do I sound it? Oh, the accent lingers! I go back in vain to English and Hindi, and for most part cower into a shell of ignorance. It seems like a good idea to stick to the universal sign language... at least, in these parts. So I stick out two fingers to tell the vendor I want two guavas! It worked.